Questions: Hollywood Edition

Even though i feel that i emotionally broke up with school a few months ago, my ever-interested and brilliant mind is still asking questions i do not know the answers to. Once i was able to filter these questions (in a non-schizophrenic way mind you), i noticed that many of them were of the pop culture presuasion, and so i decided to share some of them with you all.

Who purchased Nicholas Cage's soul?
I don't know from experience, since my soul is still open for bidding on Ebay, but one would assume that you just can't make gems like National Treasure without missing some chromosomes and some sort of good decision making barometer. I just want to know: where did it go? And is it not serving its purpose, so now you're going for his hair?

Where is Jonathan Taylor Thomas?
Everyone knows him (Simba, Home Improvement) but where did he go? To my knowledge he has not died, so what's up? My prediction: he left our world to go be the leader of the Lolly Pop Guild.

What is the Bad Girls Club show about?
In my experience there are many places in which one can find a "bad girls club." For example: the whole state of New Jersey, in the parking lot of a GED building, on the set of teen mom. Because of this, i can only believe that this is about something more than alcoholism, but then again the human condition always disappoints me.

Has anyone ever mistaken the Olsen twins for crazy bag ladies?
It could happen if i saw them on the street, i would definitely give them a quarter...

And so there you have it life and its mysteries never end...