The Downs of Solo Missions

Of all of my adventures this one has been my first true long-lasting solo mission. Because of this, i have had many moments to ponder, unobstructed by pesky things such as normal stimulating conversation and companionship. Anyway, as i explore the recesses of my wonderful and cynical mind i have also learned a few things about traveling without a companion, pet, or even beloved stuffed animal. I will now share them with you because i am alone, as i mention subtly, and i can't speak to these issues with anyone other then my pillow and the box of pop tarts i bought and put in my suitcase for safekeeping...

1. Eating alone - this i have yet to truly master. My eye wanders because there is no one accross from me and i always make eye contact with people close by one to many times therefore they get paranoid and think i'm listening to their conversations. Of course, i am, because i'm alone... people need to get more interesting and spill juicy secrets over lunch...

2. Picture taking - when alone this becomes an Olympic event... you line up your shot then hit the button and sprint to your location. This means that you walk away the winner of breathtaking pictures of yourself sweaty and slightly off center (both mentally and physically). Additionally, you have all those annoying profile pictures with you holding the camera out and taking a picture... despite the fact that you are alone and that was the only option, it still comes across as being vain and self-centered.

3. Death - if for some reason i am snorkeling and get eaten by a barracuda and/or stung by a lionfish... no one will see and come to my rescue... this means that i will sink to the bottom of the ocean reflecting on my lack of friends and in paralyzing fear as to who will play me in the lifetime movie made about this untimely death entitled 'Alone in Solitude'.

4. Comments - when i am an island (ironically on an island) i must keep my cruel judgments of other people to myself, that's how Miss Manners would want it, but not i.

Even with these perils of solo stardom i must go on. Eventually i will master them all... i'm fully prepared to punch a lionfish in the face. Stay tuned.