One Year Ago...

Four [one, actually, but who’s counting?] score and about one year ago I came into your lives. I know that everyone has this day written on their calendar and are overjoyed that I write to you every week or so. In a year writing to you, my fair follower, I have learned many things, and so I will share them—and some stats—on this the day of my one year anniversary. . .

1. I have 10 followers. Of those, I believe that four actually follow me and the rest are just supportive. To those who read on the sly, I say FOLLOW ME, partly because it will make me feel good and partly because I have a whole batch of Kool-Aid that will go bad if you don’t (see how I just weave mass suicide humor in with ease? Where was that more than a year ago?).

2. My most viewed post is “Dear Drunk Girl Weaving Outside My Window” with 46 views. I think that this is the case because everyone has the pleasure of knowing a young alcoholic that can’t tell time and understands my disapproval.

3. My total page views are 2,138. This is respectable, and I will pretend that most of these views aren’t from people related to me partly because this could be true seeing as my father probably can’t even find this blog, and partly because it will soothe my agitated self-worth.

4. As to the future, have no fear my contagious comrades, I will be here for a long time. Everything in this world annoys me and so I will never run out of bothersome people that make for lovely rules and regulations on how not to lead a life. I hope all ten of you stay with me.