Small Man, Big Vault

Well we have survived the holidays my brave bookworms.  Now the real survival begins, trying not to succumb to the suicidal tendencies that winter brings forth. For those of you that do not have the pleasure of living somewhere down south you know that for the next few months here in the pacific northwest we have the pleasure of weather and a general environment that is akin to being stuck inside a fat old pigeon, gray and damp. I like to dull the ache that is depression by going to a darker place, so that in comparison the weather outside is cheerful, that's right i go to the movies.

Recently I went and saw Mission Impossible 3. I was drawn to this movie because of its half empty pessimistic title, and its munchkin of a leading man. You should not be surprised to know that Tom Cruise is still his same old self; strange and crazy. However, there is now a level of frustration (40% sexual 60% napoleon) that can be found under his smaller than normal couch jumping self. The upside to all of this is that I know now what's up in an action spy movie and I will share them with you.

1. Russians: Sadly they are never the good guys. If something is going down there are some Russians up in there and they tend to not be the nicest. I'm sorry that's just how it is.

2. The silver brief case: There is no way that someone can be just carrying one of those bad boys to work... then of course someone steals it and what not. This is not the stealth that is needed. Let's be real, what are they carrying in those brief cases that were used on the moon? Something small. My solution, fanny packs. Normally I don't condone their usage but in this case it is smart. No one expects a remote explosive in a fanny pack, better yet very few feel comfortable enough in their sexuality to reach for said explosive and run the risk of handling a very different projectile...

3. Small special thing big vault: Without fail as something the size of a matchbox is stored in a vault that also doubles as a racket ball court. I have decided that this is a bad guy over compensation issue, big vault, big truck, hiding small explosive....

In conclusion, unless this weather changes I will be forced to become, not a cat burglar, but a full on panther. I'm coming for you tom cruise, I lowered my line of vision.  I see you and the lolly pop guild that you command.... I'm coming.