Graduation!

By now all that were suppose to graduate have, and I am proud to say that somehow i have made through a few to 4 years of college. In my mind i always wanted my educational career to take a Rip Van Winkle/coma approach (get in, take a nap then be done...). i'm happy to report that, thanks to libation, some of that did become a happy reality. However, college did manage to stuff some life skills and educational tidbits into my seemingly perfectly intelligent brain.

There are the everyday techniques that only come with living with people under the age of 25 with a lot of free time:

The Twilight Bark - yes this is from 101 Dalamataions, but it is also from all those nights when you were separated from your possy and happen to be mildly to heavily inebriated. As you wander looking for your herd, you let out a drunken wail of distress. This sets off the twilight bark in which others yell, call, and yes, sometimes even bark in response, thus enabling you to stumble your way back to your pack... it's survival.

The traits of a homeless person - after some time away at college you come home and act like what can only be described as a hobo. its not your fault: you ran out of soap, clean clothes, and food all within about 3 days. this means that you tend to have developed a smell by the time you come home. Your parents, horrified, try to make you some sort of dinner, but you can't remember the last time you ate off of a real plate. It's a sad byproduct of education.

Standards go waaaay down - after a while everything is seen through an -ish way. That plate is clean-ish, you're drunk-ish, the meat sitting on the counter is fresh-ish, after a few drinks the kid with the unibrow is cute-ish, that person in the corner is dead -ish... whatever.

Then, of course, there is the knowledge that the lovely educators tried to force into our lives and that, i suppose was the purpose of me being here...

The world is going to hell, not much you can do. Blame your parents. i would start drinking now, your life is only going downhill...

Go forth and prosper, although i doubt you will.

So thank you college, i now have less money and feel like i'm not even a little ready to take on the real world, unless it's on MTV...