Football Touching Down Low

I love football, however, in light of this weekend being the weekend of football i think it is time i share with you a few of my observations about men in tight capris who are a little to excited about jumping on top of each other...

1. "He did a good jobs of penetrating deep from the backside on that play." when this can be said from one man (frequently wearing what can only be described as a Britney Spears microphone) to another man with any sort of regularity and it isn't a on a porn set it's a wonder

2. There is a penalty called "unnecessary roughness". now last time i looked these boys aren't skipping into pillows throwing rainbows and catching happy thoughts. I think that unnecessary roughness is the name of the game.

3. I fully support celebration. A person just held something that is about the size of a baby (and in their pea sized brains just as precious) through what is the equivalent of ten or so angry cows. Plus its nice to see grown men jump into each other's arms placing their crotch exactly at their teammates face (again this can only be found on the field or on a porn set. Also i find it refreshing that that these men have left the traditional chest bump aside and instead try to ram their butts into the back of their teammates head upon a touchdown.

4. Where did they get the name touch down? What are we touching? I suppose that this may have came about because upon touching down one is beaten in congratulations. To me this is a sport in which people who have not been held enough as a child attempt to regain some contact with their fellow man by running down a field and receiving praise, hugs, and butt pats. They long to be touched down low that's the end of that story.