Married TO a Rock

Last night i decided to embark on the adventure that was Married to Rock. See before i could write this i had to treat my TV for herpes, sterilize my remote, and take a scalding 90 minute shower, but now i feel ready to discuss this horror that is our society.

Now the premise of this show is quite simple: a camera crew (hopefully with updated tetanus shots) follows four wives of mostly irrelevant rock stars. I assume that this show is called Married to Rock because for all these ladies know they could be married to a rock. Can't you picture it?
"Hi my name is Candy and i'm married to the oh so sexy Sandstone who you know from the band Mineral Madness, i've never seen him in his band but he says it's super awesome."

That's the other thing they all have names that are also very common of small yappy dogs, as well women that make their living as being professional "dancers". In this show they deal with the real issues of dating a man who looks like Spike from Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

In this episode we follow one of the girls named Josie (i assume after the Pussy Cats because lets be honest there are so few role models for high school sophomores).  Anyways she decides that it will help her relationship if she makes a life size doll of herself for her husband on the road. Considering the fact that she is already mostly plastic, 62.3% to be precise, this doll is going to be confusing for her poor husband that looks like he was a reject from the band KISS.

Yet another issue that these women deal with, besides finding a bra that fits there unusually large breasts that are beyond the alphabet, is jealousy. This is shocking to everyone that watches the show and knows that it is a wonder that these men had enough money from their mediocre careers to bribe these women into marrying them with an iron clad prenup.

And that is really all i can say without having to go get treated for crabs with hepatitis.