Disappointments of Disney

Last night i felt the need to revisit my youth and watch the popular children's tale Beauty and the Beast. What a surprise this was. I am mildly concerned that my parents allowed me to watch this movie with little to no regard to the weird, creepy, and horrifying messages that are found in it. So let us take a look at this delightful love story:

1. This movie should be renamed, Stockholm Syndrome: A Documentary. Michael Moore would be pissed he didn't think of it first.

2. Why is he so pissed off? He has his own castle, i'm sure MTV Cribs would be all up in that. Not a hard life. PLUS for some reason he has all those handy housewares that keep him company and do his bidding, do you know how much Bed Bath & Beyond would kill for those?

3. Whose idea was it to give him a rose to keep track of his time as a beast? Maybe other ladies showed up before Belle but when they saw that he had a shrine to a flower just figured he batted for the other team.

4. Why are birds so friendly in the land of Disney? Don't they know they carry diseases? Why can't people get dressed on their own, hello life skill. I feel that your worth as a good housewife/princess shouldn't be measured on what you can make birds do for you. It's called a carrier pigeon people way less pretty than you have been doing this for years get over yourself.

5. I can't be the only one that was whelmed (not over or under) with disappointment after the laser Floyd show and he turned into Fabio. Can you say downgrade? Get your birds and fly the hell away from there while you still have a chance.