1. Health - the key here is to start with one body part followed by a question that every person knows the answer.
EX: BOOBS! Is it Normal to Have Two?
Suddenly this caption catches your eye. You have two boobs. Are you abnormal? I better check this very informative lady magazine. After you flip past the article because, for some reason numbering pages seems to be an afterthought, you find the article. The model is staring pensively out a window in a bra. She has two boobs-so far, so good. 3 dollars and some random change later you have learned that it is in fact normal to have only two and the crisis has been averted.
2. Weight loss - the important part of this caption is to have a low number involved and the promise of weight loss with some sort of foods.
EX: 5 Foods to Rub on Your Forearms to Lose Weight Fast!
You never do anything with your forearms so what is the harm in rubbing some food on it? I'm totally going to try this business out. Done: magazine sold.
3. Fashion: it is important to try and really sell something that no one with 5.5 brain cells would consider. It helps when they supposedly help attract men...
EX: The Fur Pantaloons that Men go CRAZY for
Despite the fact that i have a very attractive 4.2 brains cells i cannot find a man. I can't wait to slip on these wildly expensive pantaloons to see when men will for sure go wild.
4. Expose - It is always important for women to learn about the fellow dumb bunnies' mistakes. The important aspect of this is to have a quote from the person followed by a summary of what can be found in this page turning article.
EX: "I climbed up a tree and I couldn't get down..." - Her scary two hours in a prison made of branches...
Wow I can relate to this very unintelligent woman, I've been in a tree and have not been able to get down. This picture of her in front of a tree is so inspiring...
Ta-da the key to a fast selling lady magazine like nobody's business.
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