Sunday, January 23, 2011

Things That Annoy Me

 
Recently it seems that nothing of note has found it necessary to be in my life, and so i dig deep and try to find something else noteworthy to write about. So, i concluded that it would be best if i scribbled down something that i am confronted with day in and day out. Annoyance. Those who know me know that i am easily annoyed, it is really the only emotion i have left, and so i have compiled a list of things that make me want to assassinate babies in a fit of annoyed rage...

1. People who were absent that day in first grade when we learned how to "read inside your head" - is there anything more annoying than sitting next to someone who thinks they're in Reading Rainbow? The answer: negative.

2. America's Funnest Home Videos - am i the only person that hates this show? To me it is a story of evolution. All these people ignored the wishes of nature and had children anyway, and when the children realize that their existence does nothing but increase trailer sales, they spend an hour on ABC Family hitting people in the naughty places in hopes that they will not be able to sire another child.

3. Excessive animal love - i don't know what it is about it but show me anyone who is trying to squeeze the life out of some poor unfortunate creature while simultaneously trying to dye them pink and i will assassinate them.

4. People who show up for a 2 hour class 5 minutes before the class ends - what are you learning in those last moments? NEVER COME TO THIS CLASS AGAIN!

5. People with weather retardation - what's up pussycat? I'm judging your life choices...

6. Bi-Mart - I can barely stand Bi-Mart - don't ask me why. It's like my worst nightmare of being caught in a concrete warehouse with too much tupperware and all my high school classmates that really never made it off the ground.

Now of course there are many more but in light of not using the word assassinate one more time i will leave you with those...

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