For those who are living under a heat-controlled rock it is cold here. So cold in fact, that some people have been overwhelmed with freezer burn and have had a lot of issues getting dressed. This, my friends, is known as weather retardation. It is a sad problem that seems to face mostly young people today, here are some of the issues outcomes...
1. People with weather retardation have a tendency to only be visual.
Example: A sunny day in January does not a warm day make...
2. Also despite popular belief, flip flops are not all-weather footware. If you need your toes free, try some Keens and move to Seattle, or wear some Crocs and a get lifetime subscription to eHarmony. If neither seems like a life choice you are interested in put on some close-toed shoes, toes are not anyone's most attractive feature.
3.When one is trotting on an iced covered sidewalk in high heeled booties you look more like a sandpiper on crack, again this is doing you no favors...
4. As a general rule if I can see my breath I want to see no part of you. See, it rhymes.
5. To all men that feel the magnificentness of their calves cannot be contained by pants no matter what the season, they aren't that awesome, and watching you go into the early stages of hypothermia while waiting for the bus does very little for us bundled womenfolk.
So everyone stop trying to be svelte and put a coat on it. It is winter no one cares that you look like the abominable snowman's winter lover...
No comments:
Post a Comment